Irony is the Best Policy
by MasochisticXMind
Summary: I'm in love with a fairytale even though it hurts. Cause I don't care if I lose my mind I'm already cursed


_Italics= Flashbacks_

Love. The most complex emotion a human can feel. It twists your heart and fogs your brain until all you can see is black and blue. Is it a conflict of emotions, or merely a dirty, physical activity? Did it really exist in this town, or was that all just a myth? Was it true that once a person was in love, they could feel true bliss and nothing less? Or was it all a lie?

Tomoya Okazaki sat on his bed, staring out into the window looking at nothing in particular. His mind was clouded with thoughts, thoughts of love and hate, hope and misery. Thoughts of pain and thoughts of guilt.

So what was the answer; what was really love?

_"Hey Sunohara, can i ask you a question?" Tomoya asked his best friend one autumn afternoon. They were both sitting in the comforts of Sunohara's dorm, dutifully ignoring the pile of homework they had stored up in their backpacks, which they threw to the wall the moment they had entered the room._

_"Hey.. HEY GOT OFF ME YOU FREAKIN CAT!" Sunohara yelled at the cat currently attempting to climb his way over Sunohara's head. Tomoya rolled his eyes and took that as a "yes"_

_"Do you believe in love?" Sunohara froze, the cat slinked over his head. Tomoya rarely saw Sunohara become serious, but this must be one of those rare occasions._

_"Okazaki, what is this about? OHH I get it! Are you feeling loooooovesick?" Sunohara asked with a smirk as he crossed his arms and set his legs down on the floor, the cat still residing on his head. _

_Tomoya shook his head. "All I want to know is your opinion on love, that's all." If Tomoya was having this conversation with anyone else, he would have felt extremely awkward and embarrassed. But Sunohara was his best friend, and if there was one person he could talk to about anything it was him._

_"Well, first of all I'm not sure love even exists! But if it does... then it must be something really rare and special. Something that you can't let go of no matter what, because it would be impossible to find that love again." Sunohara said thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling. _

_Tomoya let out a huge laugh. "Oh my god Sunohara, you thought i was serious? Look at you, the expert on love!"_

_"Shut up!" Sunohara yelled, picking up a pillow and throwing it at his hysterical best friend. The cat mournfully slid down Sunohara's back._

At the time, Tomoya would have never dreamed that the conversation he had once held with Sunohara would impact him years later. It was a strange thought, really, that Sunohara had lectured Tomoya on love. What did he know about love? As far as Tomoya was concerned, the boy had never been in love in his life.

Back then, Tomoya had been curious about his feelings for a certain someone. To be more precise, Nagisa. Tomoya wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love or merely an infatuation. Tomoya needed answers; therefore, he asked the same question to another close friend of his.

_"Wait up! No pig, you don't wanna go there!" Tomoya called as the baby boar named Boton made his way to the middle of the road amongst the many cars zooming by. "Crap, Kyou is going to __**kill**__ me if I don't catch this damn pig." Was it worth heading into oncoming traffic and facing a very high chance of dying rather than being beaten to a pulp by Kyou for letting her precious pig die? In all honesty, Tomoya would rather be ran over by 20 cars than get on Kyou's bad side. Tomoya closed his eyes and prayed to the heavens above then dived into the road._

_The cars suddenly skidded to a stop. It's funny how a huge line of cars would stop to spare a human's life and not a boar's. Tomoya was greeted with large car honks and yells, but at the moment he really couldn't care less. He scooped up Boton and hurried over to the sidewalk. Tomoya collapsed onto the ground breathing heavily, holding tightly onto Boton._

_"Boton! There you are baby!" Speak of the devil. Literally. Kyou came rushing towards them and for a second, Tomoya thought that Kyou was going to give him a hug. Or maybe give him some food...damn was he hungry. But of course, Kyou practically tore Boton out of Tomoya's arms and cuddled him close to her, acting completely oblivious to the fact that her pig's savior was sitting right before her. Alas, one could only dream._

_"I can tell how grateful you are." Tomoya growled, getting up from his oh so comfortable spot on the ground. "You know, completely ignoring me and all. You really know how to make a person feel special."_

_Every action has consequences- that has been the law of mankind since the earth was created. Tomoya had forgotten this very basic element as he spoke without thinking to the world's greatest firecracker. Tomoya's words could either result in Kyou's confusion or the loss of a body part very dear to him. Fortunately to the sarcastic teenager, his luck struck through._

_"Just what are you talking about? You better not be fooling around Tomoya!" Kyou growled angrily, cracking her fists. "Start talking or I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget!" Yes, this was Kyou's state of confusion, not anger. _

_Tomoya sighed and, after wondering why he was friends with such a hot-tempered person, replied, "The pig was about to get himself killed and I thought I would do you a favor by throwing my life in the middle of the street, happy?"_

_Kyou paused for a moment. "Oh, well I guess that's okay then." A giggling came from their left, and they turned their heads toward a tree, which two teenagers were kissing against. Kyou began to blush, and quickly glanced toward Tomoya, who was watching their with an interested expression. Hoping to break the tension, Kyou asked, "So, how are things going with Nagisa?"_

_"What do you mean?" Tomoya asked a little too quickly, tearing his eyes away from the two lovers. "There's nothing going between us." It was Tomoya's turn to blush._

_Kyou raised her eyebrows. "Obviously there is something or you wouldn't be looking so damn suspicious now, would you?"_

_Tomoya hesitated; explaining his relationship problems with someone who threatened to take away his life on an everyday basis was not exactly an inviting concept. Unfortunately, Tomoya had no choice as this was Kyou he was dealing with. "Well..." Tomoya began uncomfortably, "I'm just trying to figure out my feelings for her."_

_A soft breeze of cool air passed by, and Kyou gazed upward at the sky. "The clouds sort of look like a dragon, don't they?"_

_Tomoya frowned, a line creasing his forehead. "The clouds look like clouds." But even as Tomoya said that, he began to make out the shapes of the individual clouds. Yet Tomoya could see nothing but a group of clouds bunched together, dependent on one another to form the ultimate shape it forms. The clouds rely on each other like a family... the Big Dango Family._

_Kyou tilted her head to the side, still staring up at the sky. "I think Nagisa likes you." Tomoya's eyes widened, feeling taken aback. Kyou continued, "And if you have the feeling that you might like her too, and then you do; don't second guess yourself." Tomoya was about to open his mouth to reply when Kyou interrupted, "Ask her out. The sooner the better, or eventually it might be too late and some other guy is gonna come a swoop her up."_

_"Easier said than done." Tomoya mumbled. "I doubt she even feels the same way."_

_"If you keep telling yourself that she loves you back, then you eventually start to believe it and maybe she will too. Only if you're lucky." Kyou said with a wink, walking away leaving a dumbstruck Tomoya to ponder on her advice. "I really need to move on." Kyou muttered to herself, squishing her boots through the mud as the clouds turned to rain._

Kyou had given Tomoya something to think about that night, there was no doubt about it. It was then that Tomoya had realized that everyone, absolutely everyone, had given much thought on the subject of love. It had enveloped everyone's minds at one point in their life, leaving room for no other thought. When it came to love, people changed.

Tomoya wandered around the house, the cardboard floor making soft squeaks from the pressure applied by Tomoya's feet. He felt himself being drawn to something, and led himself upstairs. He walked into his bedroom and stood in the doorway. The room was an utter mess; there was so many clothes thrown on the entire floor that it was impossible for Tomoya to take one step without stepping into fabric. Empty and half-drunk alcohol bottles were thrown carelessly around the room. He merely glanced at his work of art and regarded all of this without a care in the world.

The only items that remained as perfect as ever were the three Dango pillows stacked neatly right on top of the other. Tomoya smiled at them as he remembered all of the memories surrounding them; the never-ceasing joy that had occurred because of them. Tomoya could feel a single tear threatening to escape his eye, but he would not allow it; he had to be strong for her. If that was all he could do, then he would take that chance.

Tomoya lingered for a moment next to the bed, and then, staring blankly at the floor, let himself fall onto the bed in a sitting position. His drooping eyes made their way to a single picture frame beside him. His eyes widened as he stared at the picture. It had been taken on a beautiful spring day, filled with vibrant color. Tomoya's world was currently bathed in black and white.

If there was one thing Tomoya had always hated, it was taking pictures. A frown would always make its way onto his face whenever a camera was nearby, and he would do nothing to prevent it. On this one rare occasion, however, Tomoya felt no need to fight it; it had faded in pure bliss and was replaced by a beaming smile. Surrounding him were the people that he cared most about, his friends that made his senior year in high school full of joy and light. They had brought pure meaning into his dreary life, especially the girl he had an arm draped around.

Tomoya had picked up the picture frame, his eyes pouring into hers. Although she wore a small smile, it was obvious that no one could have been as happy as her at that moment. She held her fingers up in a peace sign and smiled, tilting her head to the side so that it rested on Tomoya's shoulder. She was surrounded by the people she loved, and the people that loved her.

Although the hand holding the picture frame begun to shake, Tomoya would not admit it to anyone, least of all himself. Was a loved one supposed to make him feel this much pain, make him feel as though an anchor was hooked onto his heart and was dragging him down into the deep blue depths of the forgotten sea? How could he love someone that did this to him?

_Love- Noun: _

**1. **

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

**2. **

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

**3. **

sexual passion or desire.

Verb:

**4. **

To have love or affection for another person; be in love.

"_Adjective-"The girl hiding behind the 5000-page thick book began._

"_That's… not particularly what I meant." Tomoya said as his palm collided with his face. "What about your own personal definition, Kotomi?" He asked, peeking through his fingers to watch her reaction._

_Kotomi paused for a moment and stared blankly at Tomoya. The school library was filled with complete silence as the two teenagers were conversing on the library floor, a huge book in-between them. "My own personal… definition? Do you mean my opinion?"_

_Tomoya sighed then nodded. Sometimes, this girl was impossible. If it didn't come out of a book, the whole subject was completely foreign to her. "You really need to get out more" Tomoya muttered to himself, not speaking in full tones to distract the now-pondering girl. _

_Kotomi rubbed her pencil against her chin and stared in the ceiling in thought. "Well… I suppose it sort of has to do with the whole Romeo and Juliet concept, right? The fact that they would both die for the one they love."_

"_That is a book written in the 17__th__ century. I am talking about the emotions of real life people today."Tomoya shook his head. At least Kotomi was starting to get somewhere._

"_But that's all the same, isn't it? I mean the situations might not be as impassioned and fanatical and passionate, but the two lovers would still feel the same emotions. After Romeo died, Juliet could have chosen to be with Paris (who she believed was alive at the time), but she chose to stay forever more with Romeo in death and the afterlife. It's like if someone who is dear to another passes away, and that person decides to be with someone else. That wouldn't be true love, would it?" Kotomi explained, her brain working furiously._

_This is what really made Tomoya think. After a minute, he was sure that he had his answer to match the brain of the brilliant Kotomi, who was allowed to skip classes and read in the library instead because she was so smart. "But what if that person loved their passed love so much that it caused them unbearable pain, and so they tried to be with someone else to forget about them? And are you saying that they should kill themselves to join their loved one?"_

_Kotomi shook her head. "Suicide is a terrible thing! That would not be the answer, merely always keeping your heart with that person is. I believe that after death, they can still feel your love and they will know if they have been forgotten. And if that person goes to someone else to try to forget about their dead lover, then that person would be living in the delusion that they truly love them and no one else; it would be unfair." Kotomi explained. _

_Tomoya had no idea what to say to that. "I suppose… you're right." Tomoya admitted. He should have known to come to Kotomi the whole time! Of course Sunohara didn't know shit, and Kyou was too aggressive to have even allowed that subject of thought to enter her mind. Kotomi, on the other hand, was gentle and knew practically everything due to the constant exercise she puts her brain through. _

"_I hope I am not intruding into your thoughts, Tomoya." Kotomi began, playing nervously with her fingers. "But may I ask what you need all of this information for? Is it a school assignment?"_

_Tomoya smiled to himself. "Not exactly a school assignment… more like a life assignment." Kotomi tilted her head and stared at Tomoya in puzzlement, who burst out laughing. Kotomi frowned, clearly offended. _

"_Are you making fun of my little knowledge I have of the social world? That really isn't nice, Tomoya." Kotomi said, staring at the shaking figure of Tomoya. At that exact moment, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period. "You better go Tomoya; you don't want to be late!"_

"_I'm sorry Kotomi, I must be acting delusional. I'll see you at drama practice after school." Tomoya said as he hurried down the crowded hallway to his class. He was in such a rush that he did not notice himself colliding with someone, sending them both to the floor. He looked up and saw two strands of hair that looked oddly like antennas perched on top of her head._

Tomoya's eyes wandered to the girl standing near the back of the frame, looking completely at peace with her violin. Although some are cursed to begin with, along the way they become closer to the sky until they finally reach the stars.

He sat there for a few moments, smiling to himself as he reveled in the buried memories of the past. Those were the days when he could wear a genuine grin, and he could lock his fake smile up deep into his heart. He should have known back then that the time he had was limited. But even if he knew, it would have made no difference; he would have made the best out of it no matter the circumstances.

A door shut suddenly, sending a loud _bang_ to Tomoya's ears, causing him to jump in alarm. Trapped in his own mind, Tomoya forgot that he was still stuck in reality.

_It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live._

The sound of a bottle dropping sent Tomoya's drooping eyes toward the door. A figure had made its way to the doorway, standing almost in shock. The eyes of Nagisa Okazaki shook almost frantically, searching the room as though they were in desperate need of something. Her eyes rested on an old picture taken a couple months ago, and her eyes begun to close.

"It's all my fault." She whispered, as her frail body was sent soaring towards the ground.

It was at that moment when Tomoya realized what love truly was- when you stuck by a person no matter how much pain they put you through.

**A/N: If you are confused right now, then I have done my duty as an author. I'm sort of trying something new, and I'm planning on making this a comedic tragedy (or a tragedic comedy, whichever you prefer). Is tragedic even a word….. honestly I don't even know, hehe. I'll give you this much; although it takes place during After Story, the story is completely different so don't you worry! The flashbacks really are important, so make sure you pay attention!**

**I would like to thank J.K Rowling and Alexander Rybak for my usage of certain quotes! **

**Reviews really do make my day, night, evening, and afternoon :D**


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